But the Future Refused to Change
by Key the Metal Idol
Summary: So Jack got his reset...and he got his reset...*skips a few* ...if only he could get it to stop. We've entered an endless recursion of time... Slash and het!


**Author's Notes:** Inspired by a few too many episodes of Endless Eight, title is a _Chrono Trigger _reference. For alemyrddin at lostsquee's Luau. The problem with ideas like these is making yourself stop--if anybody wants to write out their own iteration, I've left plenty of wiggle room so feel free!

* * *

We've entered an endless recursion of time. - Itsuki Koizumi

In the last fifteen-thousand four hundred ninety-seven cycles, O-bon has been omitted twice. O-bon sans goldfish catching occurred a total of four hundred thirty-seven times. The city pool has been visited without fail as of this cycle. Part-time work has been conducted a total of nine-thousand twenty-five times with six variations in the nature of the work. Other than distributing balloons, there has also been stock loading, cash register, flyer distributions, call answering, as well as a model fashion show. There have been six-thousand eleven balloon distributions, with three hundred sixty overlaps in two or more variations. Repeated iterations sorted by order of combination are... - Yuki Nagato

Endless Eight,_ The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya_

_***_

Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today.

Well maybe the *real* God uses tricks, you know? Maybe he's not omnipotent. He's just been around so long he knows everything.

- Phil Connors, _Groundhog Day_

_***_

**Iteration 000002**

It worked. Jack was back on the plane. It was September 22, 2004 and none of the other people on the plane seemed to know who he was. Jack wished he didn't remember everything that had happened before, but he supposed it was a small price to pay.

But the plane shook, like before. Then it broke up, like before. And Jack woke up, like before.

There must be some mistake.

Jack made his way to the beach and did his best to help. He needed everything to calm down so he could think, and maybe there would be a way he could stop some of the awful stuff that had happened the first time.

_John would believe me_, Jack thought. But he's always off hunting--first for boars, then for hatches, and Jack's always got an emergency.

Joanna drowned, Clare got kidnapped, Scott was murdered, and Ethan got shot. Jack amputated Boone's leg and he lived an extra two hours before going into shock and dying anyway.

Jack found John, dragged him into the Dharma Swan station though Desmond threatened them both with a shotgun, and explained everything he knew. Not that it did any good--John was determined he had a destiny.

Fine. Jack would just have to make a deal with the devil instead.

_Henry Gale_ showed up on schedule, and when Sayid was finished with him and John was asleep, Jack tied his arms together, duct taped his mouth, lead him through the jungle to the Staff, and into a hidden room he should have known nothing about.

"Ben, we need to talk, and that means the tape is staying on until I'm done," Jack noted the way Ben's eyes widened when he heard his name with a sadistic sort of pleasure.

He could see Ben flipping through escape scenarios in his head until Jack got to the part about Charles Widmore—_there_ was the undivided attention he was looking for! Unnerving as it was having Ben stare at him as he recounted some of the most horrible and embarrassing things that had ever happened to him, it was also a relief.

Ben didn't want to believe Jack, but he knew so many things that he shouldn't, there wasn't any other choice. Besides, Ben needed a tumor removed and he'd be damned if Charles got anywhere near _his_ island again.

Jack took the tape off, but he didn't untie Ben until they reached the secret entrance to the tunnels, so they both could swim.

"You're just showing off now," Ben said, irritated.

They frightened Alex as they emerged unannounced while she was making a sandwich. Jack was surprised that Ben didn't bother to tie him up or threaten him. He had plenty of people at his disposal to help him do so, so maybe it just wasn't worth the effort since Jack was cooperating.

Ben did do everything in his power to insure that things would change. But the hatch imploded, Ben's people were murdered, he had mysterious complications during surgery though neither Jack nor Juliet did anything to cause them, Jack's people tracked him down and got captured, John blew up the submarine, and eventually Jack ended up on a helicopter leaving the island, though he did everything barring murder to stay away from it.

A year later a miserable looking Benjamin Linus showed up at Jack's house in California, repeating a story Hurley had told him on Penny's boat. Ben had done it right this time--turned himself in, and they'd shot Alex anyway. What more could either of them do if everything was determined to happen the same?

Maybe the key was in the past, in stopping the bomb.

Jack tried his best. He did young Ben's surgery. He tried to stop Daniel from going to Eloise about the bomb, but Jack ended up being knocked out and waking up at the Swan site with a reluctant Richard Alpert hovering nearby. He'd been ordered to make sure Jack was at ground zero while an uninjured Sayid tossed the bomb in, too far away for Jack to do anything to stop him.

**Iteration 000042**

Fed up with nothing he tried ever working, Jack had blurted out everything he knew about what would happen, first thing when they crashed on the beach. Convinced that he's crazy, Sawyer and Locke tied and gagged Jack, only letting him loose when someone needed medical attention. When they moved into the Swan it was convenient to keep Jack in the armory. Jack eventually got a roommate and soon enough, Jack and _Henry_ helped each other escape. Jack didn't let on that he knew anything about Ben or the Others as he was led to the barracks.

Ben had never been able to help him, but Jack hadn't counted Richard out yet. It took a little effort, but Jack got Richard alone and told him how he'd spent the last 126 years. Richard was sympathetic, but didn't know of anything he could do for Jack. Even though he was still planning to replace Ben with John, Richard sent Jack to tell Ben everything, _(again)_.

It went poorly, and Ben decided maybe they had a point in keeping Jack locked up. An apologetic Richard brought meals to Jack, but he ignored them and stared blankly up at the ceiling. Jack knew he'd be out of here soon enough, whether he wanted to leave or not.

"You haven't been eating," Richard examined the tray he'd brought Jack earlier that morning.

"Why should I? Not like it will kill me," Jack wondered what was happening back on the beach now that all his _crazy predictions_ were coming true.

Richard sighed and sat down next to Jack on the floor, "Thirty years ago, you brought Ben to me."

Jack nodded, "I do that sometimes."

Richard leaned in closer, "What will you do now?"

"Keep trying something different until I run out of things to try I guess," Jack's gaze locked with Richard's, and soon enough there were fingers unbuttoning his shirt.

This wasn't the first time they'd slept together, though Richard didn't know that. The last time had been in the tunnels and they'd both been soaking wet. Richard had clamped a hand over Jack's mouth so Eloise and Sayid wouldn't hear them as they thrust frantically together in a dusty alcove merely a few feet away.

They weren't quiet at all this time, and Tom gleefully informed Jack of the noise complaints when he was let out to remove Ben's tumor.

**Iteration 000108**

"Claire? You got a minute?" Jack shouted as he approached from across the beach.

Claire folded the blanket that she'd been given by another one of the survivors, "Oh, sure Jack. Was there something you needed?"

"I kind of wanted to talk to you about something, but I haven't known how to bring it up, or what to say at all really," Jack hesitated, then sat down. If he screwed it up he could always try again next time. "Did you know a man named Christian Shephard?"

"Why do you want to know?" Clare shifted uncomfortably, and for once it wasn't caused by her unborn child.

"The reason I was in Australia at all was because my father decided to drink himself to death, and I had to come pick up his body to bring home. I think the real reason he was in the country might have been to see you, Claire," Jack watched her out of the corner of his eye.

"Christian was your father... I-I didn't even know he died. Oh, God!" She covered her face with her hands, shaking with shock.

"I didn't want to upset you, but I thought you might want to know. I hadn't known much about you and him," _or anything at all until I talked to your mother_, "but I thought I should say something just in case," _that this will stop_.

"Was...was the body on the plane?" Claire's voice trembled, and Jack stood up so he could put a hand on her shoulder.

"Yes--I found the casket the other day, it was empty," Jack hadn't even checked this go around, it was always empty.

"I don't know what to say, Jack. He was awful to me and mum, and I hadn't seen him forever. I... could I have some time to think about this?"

"Take all the time you need," Jack kissed her on the cheek, then looked over to see Charlie glaring at him from the tree line. Jack gave him a mocking wave then left for the caves, he had plenty of time to spare.

**Iteration 000415**

"I know you're a little out of it Dan, but I need you to listen to me. I've been stuck in this loop for over a _thousand years_ now. If you don't figure _something_ out, you'll _time travel_ again, your girlfriend will _die_ again, and your _mother_ will shoot you again," Jack shook Faraday by the shoulders, punctuating each point.

"I-I don't have a girlfriend," his eyes darted to the jungle where Charlotte was supposed to be, "and my m-mother wouldn't...well maybe she would," Daniel put a hand to his lips, thinking.

Jack paced back and forth, looking agitated, "Anything yet, Dan?"

Daniel blinked hard and looked at Jack, "Um... Do I know you?"

**Iteration 001008**

Jack grabbed him by the wrist, and Ben braced himself for a hit that never came. Instead Jack's mouth was on his, hands briefly pinning him to the wall before making quick work of both their clothes. Jack tugged him backwards out of the bathroom and on to the hotel room bed without breaking their mouths away. Ben was making sounds at the back of his throat that he'd be embarrassed by, if there'd been enough blood left in his brain to register them.

_He always looks so surprised_, Jack mused.

**Iteration 001242**

"So, um, you've done this like a million times? That sucks, dude," Hurley picked at the remains of a roasted fish he'd gotten from Jin that morning.

"You have no idea," Jack took a drink from the mini bottle of Jack Daniels he'd stolen from Sawyer's stash and sighed to himself. _Booze just isn't enough these days_, though that reminded him, "Hey Hurley, want to see where another plane crashed?"

**Iteration 002108**

"I'm gonna go back and find everyone else. I... I can't go any further with you, Jack. Not this time," Kate turned to leave.

Jack took out his gun, and shot Kate point blank in the chest. She slumped to the ground, disbelieving.

"Why would you kill one of your own people?" Eloise asked him, baffled.

"Bullets are much cheaper than therapy," Jack stated matter-of-factly. He'd managed to kill every one of the time travelers except Juliet and himself on past runs. Jack called back over his shoulder, "Coming, Sayid?"

**Iteration 003204**

"In an hour or so your son from the future is going to show up here waving a gun, and you're going to shoot him. If you don't believe me, try to shoot me—it won't work," Jack said, sounding bored.

The group eagerly complied, rifles misfired, jammed, and were mysteriously empty of ammo. All of them, at once.

"Take him to my tent," Eloise directed.

Jack listened, and on schedule Dan came into camp shouting, and was shot shortly afterward.

Richard and an agitated Eloise appeared inside the tent, Eloise waving a journal at him, "Why is this in my handwriting?"

"Because you wrote it. Hold on a second, we should wait for Kate," Jack stretched his legs, and sure enough Charles Widmore rode into camp, dragging a protesting Kate behind him.

After losing Kate during the usual confrontation, the group surfaced in the tunnels, Richard leading the way with torches.

Jack put a hand on Eloise's shoulder, and he felt her jump, "Sorry. You okay?"

"Of course I'm not okay! Today has been a nightmare!"

"Forgive me for not being sympathetic, but after the first few thousand times this has happened it's kind of lost any effect on me," Jack apologized.

She scowled at him, then grabbed a fistful of his shirt, "Come with me."

"What--"

"Eloise, where are you going?" Richard asked.

"Not far—wait here Richard. Hurry up," Eloise pulled Jack into an adjoining hallway, leaving an annoyed Richard and Sayid alone with the bomb.

Jack was curious for the first time in a while, "Did you want to talk about something?"

"No," she pushed him down on the floor and straddled his lap, "I have no intention of _talking_ to you."

Fifteen minutes later they stumbled back to the chamber, passing a mortified Richard Alpert.

"I told you to wait," Eloise admonished.

**Iteration 004168**

Jack watched Ben as he sat in his wheelchair reading.

"Something you needed, Jack?" Ben didn't bother to hide his annoyance at being stared at.

"I was just wondering...You used to be such a cute kid--what happened?"

**Iteration 006164**

"You won't tell anyone will you, Doc?" Sawyer zipped his jeans, looking anywhere but at Jack.

"Neon signs, posted on every beach," Jack rolled his eyes as Sawyer glared at him. "No I won't mention how getting a blowjob from a guy is not even a little bit gay. Don't you have a raft to catch?"

Sawyer stormed out of the tent.

**Iteration 008154**

"Do either of you speak English?" Jack asked Sun in Korean.

"No. I was afraid no one here would speak any Korean at all," Sun willed her body to relax, it seemed she would be able to keep her secret.

"It took forever for a friend to teach me, but I guess I'm not too terrible anymore. My name is Jack Shephard, and I'm a doctor. If either of you need anything, I'll do my best to help," Jack shook hands with Jin and Sun, then excused himself.

Sun wondered who had taught him, she hadn't often heard an accent so similar to her husband's.

**Iteration 010804**

"So, did they send you to get me?" Blue eyes peered up at Jack curiously.

"Who? The _hostiles_?" Jack watched Ben's face fall. "This is just an old fashioned kidnapping, I'm afraid." Ben always ended up as the leader of the Others, but Jack had noticed there was this subtle kindness present in Ben that he didn't have when Richard had to save him because he'd refused. They always got along better in the future when Ben remembered everyone being in the 70s.

Ben frowned at him, "Why? My dad doesn't have any money, and if he did he wouldn't give it to you to get me back."

"Your father's an idiot," Jack watched Ben bite his lip, he knew it was true, but that didn't mean he wanted Jack to say so. "Honestly, the only reason I'm doing this is because I never have before. When you're stuck in a time loop there are only so many things you can change before the options start getting weird."

Ben tilted his head, thinking, "I've read books about those. I bet if you found the right thing to change it would stop."

"Believe me, I've tried," Jack massaged his temple with his hand. "You don't seem very concerned that I've dragged you off in the middle of the night to who-knows-where. What if I was a serial killer or a child molester?"

"Why would you make up a story about time travel if you were just going to do something to hurt me? Besides, it looks like you have supplies for more than one person, so you probably aren't going to kill me," Ben explained, pragmatic.

Jack put a hand on Ben's arm, "Hmm... if you want to be logical about it. I must admit I've already done the molesting though—but that's thirty years in the future so you don't have to worry, yet."

Ben waited for Jack to say he was kidding, but his expression was serious, "B-But... I wouldn't... You're a guy!"

Jack waved his other hand, "So? Anyway, don't get too upset, this is only for three days. Then I get blown up and the whole thing starts over."

Ben frowned at him,"What will we do for three days?"

"Pretty much whatever you want," _so long as no one sees us_, Jack finished in his head.

Ben was desperate for any kind of positive attention, even from someone as dubious as Jack. He was happy to do the most mundane things—walking together or looking for shells on the beach. Ben seemed certain Jack would find fault in what he wanted, and he was nervously waiting for the other shoe to drop. The morning of the third day he finally realized that it wasn't that he _could_ do anything wrong, it was that it wouldn't matter if he did. If Jack wasn't crazy, he would be gone in a few hours, and Ben would be stuck back with them.

Ben watched Jack pack away the last of their supplies, "Maybe I'll think of something, Jack. Maybe I can fix it."

"If you did, I never heard about it—I've already been to the future, remember?" Jack handed his bag over to Ben.

The bag slipped from Ben's hands, thudding to the ground, "I don't want to go back! I hate it there!"

Jack knew he hated it, but there wasn't anything he could do, "I'm sorry, Ben."

Ben's eyes teared up, and he felt every bit the sissy his father accused him of being, "Can you at least promise you'll do this again sometime? E-even if I won't remember..."

Ben was openly sobbing, and Jack hugged him, feeling guilty, "I promise."

**Iteration 010805**

Jack aimed carefully, targeting Roger Linus' kneecaps. Sure he couldn't kill the man, but you'd be surprised what humans could survive.

**Iteration 013420**

"You want me to shoot you?" Desmond asked in disbelief.

"You're supposed to be the exception to the rules, aren't you? I just want this to stop. Shot to the head, toss me overboard—nobody has to know," Jack pushed the pistol into his hands.

Desmond didn't want to do it, but Jack looked at him with such terrible desperation that he pulled the trigger again and again. The gun clicked in futility.

**Iteration 015230**

"That's really dangerous, don't you think you ought to come down?" A man shouted up at Jack from the base of a broken statue.

"It's not like it will kill me if I fall!" Jack shouted back, before promptly loosing his grip and falling to the sand below.

"People are strange," Jacob sat next to the broken body on the beach. He would be gone when Jack awoke.

**Iteration 016000**

Ben remembered watching Jack pack away the last of their supplies.

"Maybe I'll think of something, Jack. Maybe I can fix it," he'd said, but in thirty years there was nothing.

"If you did, I never heard about it—I've already been to the future, remember?" Jack told him, as he handed Ben his bag.

The bag had slipped from his hands, and he'd screamed, "I don't want to go back! I hate it there!"

He'd hardly heard Jack say, "I'm sorry, Ben."

He'd cried then, "Can you at least promise you'll do this again sometime? E-even if I won't remember..."

"No," Jack leaned down to kiss him chastely on the lips. Jack wouldn't, ever again--it hurt too much.

Then Ben had watched him walk away, but that was a long time ago.

Jacob said, "Benjamin... whatever he's told you, I want you to understand one thing. You have a choice."

"What choice?" Ben tried to focus on the present, Richard had told him Jack was dead so he'd already failed.

"You can do what he asks... or you can go. Leave us to discuss our... issues," Jacob looked at him intently.

Ben dropped his knife on the floor, "I don't want anything to do with either one of you." He turned and exited the way he came in, ignoring the shouts of whoever was impersonating John Locke behind him.

The people on the beach seemed to be collectively holding their breath, waiting for an announcement from on high. Ben continued past them, oblivious, sitting down on wet sand on the edge of the surf. He would have continued staring out at the horizon 'til the end of the time, but there was an odd humming sound and the sky turned violet-white.

When Ben could see again there were bodies strewn across the sand that hadn't been there before, all dressed in Dharma jumpsuits. He stood up then froze in place, his legs only unlocking when he heard Sun shouting, "Jin! Jin!" across the beach.

Jack was lying near the middle of the group, holding his head and looking dazed. Ben walked over to him as if in a trance, and Jack looked up at him as if he was seeing Ben for the first time.

Jack stared at Ben blankly, "I don't understand... Where...? Did I finally change something?"

Ben sank down in the sand on his knees near Jack, "I wonder--maybe we both did." Their eyes locked, and their bodies drifted closer together, but Miles just had to ruin the moment.

"Hey! That asshole owes me a fish taco!"


End file.
